Jane Doe at the Rest Stop

Traveling home from a puppy play date for Dallas with my friend’s two Cavalier King Charles Spaniels. Stop at a non-descript Jersey pike rest stop.

Notice a girl? woman? sitting on the concrete at the far end of the entrance. Notice two different guys taking turns talking to her. A runaway? A marital spat? Truckers looking for some quick action? Drug deal? Not sure.

Exit the rest stop, she’s still there. Go back to the truck and tell Connie I really feel the need to make sure she is okay. Maybe she’s out of money. Maybe she doesn’t have a cell phone. Maybe she did run away. Go over and sit on a nearby bench to try and overhear anything between her & the men. No luck. Men leave again. Approach the woman, whom I now can see is a woman, not a girl. I feel a bit better.

It turned out we had many things in common: Jane was also an LA native. Jane went to Cal State DH, I went to Cal State LB. Jane’s father worked for Howard Hughes, both my parents worked for Howard Hughes.

After a few more questions, Jane tells me she is having a meltdown over her father’s death. I tell her I am sorry for her loss. Her mother was murdered several years before and she believes the hospital murdered her father. They kept saying it was hopeless, he had colon cancer, but she ordered an autopsy and he died from congestive heart failure (fluid in the lungs). They were close and she is despondent because she did not save him. She wanted to airlift him to a better facility but the state of FL would not let her. (You know the state of FL, where power of attorney or next of kin mean nothing.)

Jane, her brother, and a friend (the two aforementioned men) were on their way back to FL after she visited a “spirit guide” in Vermont. Someone well known. Someone who claims to be either very gifted or a fraud. You decide.

Jane told the guide that she has felt suicidal because when her mother died Jane could feel her presence but she has yet to feel her father’s. Jane believed if she died she would be immediately reunited with her father. The guide told her she was self-absorbed and manipulative. Jane observed the guide being mean and cruel to her staff. Apparently she is all smiles at her seminars and on Larry King, but the opposite in private. She sounds like someone in a lot of pain.

Jane said she considered herself spiritual but now she was afraid she had lost her faith. I flashed back to my pastoral care & counseling class. The professor was role playing and the students prior to me had things like, “I don’t like the new hymnal.” The professor approached my desk and said, “I am hearing voices in my head and I think I am losing my faith.” At the time I joked with the professor and “thanked” him for giving me a hard one. See how things happen for a reason?

Jane was afraid her father had not crossed over and was stuck somewhere in fear and pain. This made her fearful and in pain. I told her it takes everyone different lengths of time to cross over. I told her I believed she would eventually feel her father’s presence.

After over 90 minutes of listening and talking, I told Jane I had to leave. I asked her if she wanted my cell phone number. She said yes. I asked her to promise to do me a favor if she was actively suicidal. She said, “You want me to call you?” I replied honestly that while that would be okay, I had a different request in mind. I made her promise she would do it before telling her what it was. She said yes.

“Promise me before you do anything like that you remind yourself of one thing. Remind yourself that doing that may not necessarily enable you to see your father faster. Did you ever think of that?”

She paused and replied she had not thought of that.

Then she hugged me and told me she thought I was the sign from her father she was looking for.

I walked to the truck and cried.