Forgiveness, Part II

I’ve been doing some more thinking about forgiveness. True forgiveness, like true love, should be unconditional. This just dawned on me today when I realized there are some people I would forgive if I knew why they did what they did. That doesn’t cut it. First, that's hardly unconditional. Second, the chances the reasons they gave would soothe me are slim to none.

It’s generally easier for me to forgive others than to forgive myself. Again, like love. There are things I need to forgive myself for.

• For getting married even though I knew my wedding eve cold feet were not simply cold feet.
• For not reporting the assault while a college freshman.
• For not paying more attention as an undergrad.
• For selling the condo at a loss.
• For putting customer service over a meeting. No, wait, I'm not forgiving myself because I still think I was right!
• For feeling guilty about earning a good wage.
• For hurting others in my pursuit of what I really wanted.
• For still thinking like the recovering alcoholic I am some days.

There are things I need to unconditionally forgive others for.

• J, for trashing the condo.
• P, for drinking away the money for the bike you promised me.
• M, for reading my love notes and throwing them away.
• M, for leaving too soon.
• L, for ripping A. from my life.
• D, for refusing to talk to me.
• J, for your uncertainty about us.
• C. and K. for deciding family really isn't that important.

I am ready to get off this forgiveness topic and think about blessings.